To the remembering
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This month is it. March. The angel-versary, death-versary or fill-in-the-blank-versary. There is no celebrating. Only and ever, the remembering and forgetting again.
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Rituals Make Us Human
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There is power in the group.
There is power in the solo.
There is power in the yes.
Letters from Stanford
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They say it is never too late to apologize. Will forgiveness, understanding, and acceptance make a difference? We can hope.
Read MoreThe Blueberry Catastrophe
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Whether the forgetting is circumstantial, a lack of mindfulness, or time induced, I don’t like it one bit. Forgetting sucks.
Read MoreThe Day the Music Stopped
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Standing at her graveside, the elder told the story, in native Anishinaabe tongue, of how the world began. We didn’t know a single word yet understood we were in that place where death and birth meet.
Read MoreI taste the loneliness
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How did she know? Might we each get a glimpse of the inevitable before it happens? Would you want to know?
Read MoreBeing a dork won't kill you
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Being a dork won't kill your humanness but being an asshole will.
Read MoreThe Blue Dish Christmas
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That particular Christmas is the last time our table felt full. The memories are still bittersweet.
Read MoreThe Day the Music Started
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I went into childbirth labor on Halloween night an hour before midnight.
Read MoreWhat to Say
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Here are words, thoughts, and sentiments taken directly from the hundreds of cards and letters we received when my daughter walked on. Real words from real people. Fine examples of what to say to someone whose world has turned upside down.
Read MoreAngels, Dragonflies, and Fried Egg Sandwiches
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Quite the diversity of form these angels, dragonflies, and fried egg sandwiches; each is not like the other yet all are welcome to a seat at my comfort table. The metaphysical aspects of life are unknown, unscientific, and unproven. Yet there it is, tickling us with its possibilities of seeing, knowing, feeling the great mystery of the other side.
Read MoreBow Down Old Sally
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Written as a fifteen-year-old, Lena's poem reminds us of our enduring place in the universe.
Read MoreDeath is in My House
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My daughter, Lena, experienced a near fatal health crisis about six months before she walked on. Contrasting her thoughts before and after that hospitalization, her words bring clarity to the thin veil between life and death.
A Eulogy of Voices
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Written the day before my daughter's first memorial service, this is my tribute to her. A significant portion of this piece includes my daughter's words and is therefore named "A Eulogy of Voices". As there were two memorial services, the first at the Bad River Community Center in Odanah, Wisconsin and the second at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California, this is a merged version of the two eulogies.
Read MoreGrieving a loved one as you age
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A conversation on how our aging may impact how we think and feel about loved ones we are grieving.
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